Nicholas The Nature Photographer

Nicholas, Tobin and I took a walk to our neighborhood park last weekend to give William some uninterrupted study time. Nicholas has been noticing a lot about nature lately, pointing out interesting plants, talking about cool trees, noticing pretty flowers. I had my camera with me and was snapping pictures of the boys playing and Nicholas wanted to take pictures too. But he wanted to take pictures of the trees they were climbing and the grass they were stomping on. Then he got bored…because he needed more.

He handed me my phone and said, “I’ll take more pictures on the way home when we go by all the plants. I want to take pictures of life.”

Pictures of life, you guys.

So, on the way home? He took pictures of life. He reminded me of my friends getting on the floor or the ground for the perfect shot. The boy was steadying the phone, was crawling in close, was really getting in to it. And the pictures were awesome. I’m so proud of my little photographer.

Photographic evidence of Nicholas’ mad photo-taking skills.

Birthday Recap: 37 Is Awesome

I had a seriously great birthday week this year, y’all. There were so many birthday wishes, so many friends to celebrate with, so much love. I get to read Jenny’s words and I got to commission art from Robin. I had dinner with my best boys, I celebrated two days in a row with my work family (my birthday and my awesome friend, Katy’s, birthday are next to each other). I got surprise birthday wishes in the mail from wonderful friends. I got my first mammogram as a birthday present to myself. I had lunch and cake with my blood family and blew out candles with my cousin. See? A seriously great birthday week.

Photographic evidence of a seriously great birthday week.

 Close-up cupcake awesomeness.  Awesome Cupcake Variety.  Sharing wishes with Katy.  Dinner dates  Even more cute dinner dates.  Getting the girls squishes.  Sharing wishes with Matthew.

Thank you for all the birthday wishes on Facebook, Twitter, calls and texts! You guys rock!

 

Conversation With A Fortune Teller

William and I went to a super fun event recently and one of the perks was a brief chat with a fortune teller. Or is it palm reader? I don’t know what she called herself. Regardless, I sat in a dimly lit alcove with a mystical stranger and she read my palm. It’s possible I was slightly toasted. Because the Appletinis were wicked strong and they were the first drinks I’d had since being pregnant with Tobin (that’s three years, y’all). Anyway. My friend, the Fortune Teller, talked with me about three parts of the lines on my hand. Imagination, Romance, and Career.

I know you’ll all be shocked to know that my friend, the Palm Reader, told me I have a strong imagination. Which might explain why I was so excited to hang out with a PalmReaderFortuneTeller.

The she shocked me with was my romance line. I expected her to say something about a long line and a wonderful life (did I mention that William was standing right next to me?) Instead she said that my love/romance line was, in fact, long; but, that the beginning of it was hard. That I’d loved strongly but it had been a bumpy, difficult road. And that now? I am on a strong, straight, solid road. I may have teared up, and not just because of the alcohol.

The last line my new best friend looked at was my career line. She said a big decision was coming up and that I’d have to choose soon. Does that mean William will get another position (one in his field) soon and I’ll have to move on my my current (amazing) work? I may have to track down this lady for more clarification.

So,  have you ever had your palm read or fortune told? Was it accurate? Was it a little creepy?

Making Two Look Good!

Tobin is two. I just have to write it out, or I won’t believe it. Because how did that happen? Yesterday he was kicking me in the ribs. Oh, wait, he was kicking me in the ribs yesterday. But I meant from *inside* my belly. Anyway, it’s gone really fast. This year was a big one for our little dude: daycare, talking, glasses, a level of orneriness never before seen in our household. I think my favorite thing about him right this second is the stories my friend, Katy, tells me. When Katy drops her son off at daycare and he’s not happy, Tobin will try to comfort him. I love that, even at just two years old, he’s compassionate and empathetic. I also love his face-splitting smile, his joy in playing rough with Daddy and Nicholas, and his amazing laugh. We’re so lucky he’s our boy. I think it’s pretty fitting that he shares a birthday with Texas and Dr. Seuss, with his independent streak and love of the silly. Happy Birthday, Tobin! I can’t wait to see what this year brings!

 

My Charmed Life

Like many women in Texas, I love me some  James Avery. When I was 11 I got my first piece of James Avery jewelry, a silver “dangle” ring with a hot-air balloon charm. I also got a dangle ring with a dinosaur (I think it was a Kentosaurus) because I thought it was cool, not because I had any real fascination with dinosaurs. The rings were gifts from my father, two of the three gifts that I can remember getting from him before he left. Unfortunately, those rings were later stolen from my Athletics locker in high school.

And then I got my charm bracelet. My late husband, Mark, got me the bracelet knowing that he was set for gift buying for several years as he would just have to get me a charm and I’d be happy. Collecting charms for my bracelet has been slow. I didn’t want charms just for the sake of their cuteness (I’m talking to you, Kentosaurus), I wanted charms that were meaningful. You can track my adult life with my bracelet.

The Flower pot & Garden Seeds were from my cousin, Heather, when I was in a phase where I was planting tons of containers with flowers in front of our apartment. Also, I just really like flowers.

Two peas in a pod and the two little girls with the flower are for Heather and me. We’re technically cousins, but closer than a lot of sisters.

The dog dish was for our sweet dog, Brittany. She died just before Tobin was born, and I’d had her since way before Nicholas was born. I love having a reminder of my first “baby”.

The lady bug is from Mark and came from my insistence that lady bugs are lucky.

The teapot is from my Aunt Karen because I was, briefly, collecting tea pots. Even though that collection lasted for, like three seconds, I love the fat little tea pot on my bracelet.

The two little boys with the dog cracks me up. Mark got me that charm because he thought it was a boy, a girl and a dog (which is what our family was before we had Nicholas). He got it and had it put on the bracelet and didn’t know it was two boys until I asked him why he chose it. I decided to keep it on the bracelet in solidarity with my gay friends whose families really were two boys and a dog.

The popcorn is from my friend, Christie, who was my first awesome boss. She had some challenging pregnancies and births and was out of work for a while. She gave me the charm as a thanks for helping with the work load while she was out of the office. And it’s popcorn because I’m a huge movie person.

The Dragonflyis from Heather as a thank-you for helping put on her baby shower for Bronwyn’s arrival.

The heart with the dove I got for myself. Just because I liked the symbolism.

The Rocking Horse is for my Nicholas and went on the bracelet just after he was born.

The heart with the “M” I got just after Mark died.

The Owl was given to me by my friend, Lauren, who is under the impression that I’m wise. I also love it because my school mascot was the Scrappin’ Owls.

The Deep In the Heart of Texas charm is for William and me. We both love Texas, and we were married in the Texas Hill Country which is just about where the heart is positioned. This charm was part of my Mother’s Day gift from William.

The Onsie is for my Tobin and was the other part of my Mother’s Day gift from William.

I have another charm, the Love charm, that isn’t on the bracelet. William got it for me for our anniversary this year, but I kept it to wear on a necklace. By my heart.

So, that’s my life according to my charm bracelet. Do you have any super sentimental jewelry? A piece that tells a story about you?

Six Happy Birthdays!

Dear Nicholas,

I can’t believe it’s been 6 years since you were born. I can’t believe I’m so lucky that I get to be your Mom. The year from 5 to 6 has been amazing. You grew so much, had your first year of “real” school, matured so much, and continue to take care of your baby brother. I am so proud of you and who you are becoming. I’m a little sad too, though. It seems like I blink and you grow more independent. It makes be proud and sad, I wonder how much longer you’ll want to snuggle before bed; but, maybe I should wonder how much longer your long legs will fit on my lap. From the moment the nurse put you in my arms, you have been a calm point in my life. I’m able to hold my patience with you much longer than with anyone else. I think those big blue eyes have something to do with it. I’m so glad I am your Mom and I can’t wait to see you grow this year!

Love,

Mommy

Nicholas, 6.7.05

Nicholas, May 2011

Freeze Frame!

I wish I could freeze time for the boys right this second.  Right this second when they are both healthy and strong. There isn’t a virus in sight, no vomit or boogers or poo (oh my!). Both of them are breathing easy and can run and play and jump and tumble.

I wish I could freeze this time in their relationship when they are so in love with each other. With a few exceptions here and there, Nicholas thinks that Tobin is awesome. He loves his little brother so much and is so happy to have him around. N wants to hold T and hug him and squeeze him and play with him. And Tobin’s favorite place in the world is playing on Nicholas’ bed with him. The most perfect moment for them is when N is making T laugh (it’s pretty perfect for the parents too).

I wish I could freeze this moment when the boys are happy to just be with each other. I want to remember this when they are fighting over bigger things than just who gets to hold the Luigi doll.

I wish I could freeze this age for Tobin when he is learning something every second and there is so much delight and wonder. I love this time when Tobin wants to snuggle in my arms to fall asleep at night. I love this size when he is already becoming so independent but is still small enough to be swept up in our arms and swung around with ease.

I wish I could freeze this age for Nicholas when he had a wonderful school year and is completely sure that he is smart and school is great. I love watching him reading and asking us to add numbers for him. I love to see him transforming from little boy to big boy as his face narrows, his legs lengthen and the slight bit of baby chub he had melts away. I’m so glad he still folds himself onto my lap for snuggles.

My friend, Christie, had her oldest daughter a couple of years before I had Nicholas. She said one day that she thought she’d have a favorite age for her kids (that she’d like it better when they were babies or toddlers or big girls). Instead, she found that her favorite age was the age her daughters were right that second. I have to agree. I love to look back on Nicholas as a baby or even Tobin just a year ago, but the age they are right this second? That’s the age I want to freeze.

Do you have a favorite age for your kids? Or maybe a favorite phase?

Our Hand-Crafted Wedding

I love weddings where you can see the couple in every touch. Where there isn’t anything that doesn’t have their stamp on it. I also love handmade things and I love Etsy. Having access to talented people all over the world with just a few keystrokes has changed the way I buy artsy fartsy items. I am also lucky to have crafty friends and family!

I knew when we started planning our wedding that I wanted it to be very personal, and I thought that using as many hand-crafted items as possible would be a great way to do it. So, even thought it’s been two years since we got married, I thought I’d share all the ways we made our wedding “ours”. You might as well leave now if you don’t want to see a million (amazing) pictures. If you do want to see all the pictures, thank Travis and Christina with Rebel With A Camera photography for their amazing talent on our wedding day!

The wedding was the Saturday before Easter on my husband’s grandmother’s ranch in the Texas Hill Country. Part of the reason we picked the date was because it’s peak wildflower time. We, however, got married in the middle of a drought and were very happy that we had grass and not just dirt. The reception was in a great community building on the lake and was perfect for our family-centered reception.

Accessories & Flair

Ceremony

Reception

Resource Guide
In case you want to connect with any of the wonderful people who helped make our wedding so great, here is a list:

I hope you all enjoyed the recap of our wedding…well, of all the stuff that made the wedding “ours”. There are so many other things I could tell you about like the music (The Beatles and Queen), my Wedding Fairy (Lauren) who helped keep me sane, the slide show of engagement photos we had running during the reception, the photo of my new brother-in-law’s naked butt in the photo booth; but, this post was just about stuff. I’ll tell you about all the other special things another time. What was your favorite thing about your wedding or your favorite thing about weddings in general?



Responsibility Is Hot

I watched William drive away this morning, on his way to Denver for a job interview. The drive is 18 hours each way and he’ll be gone 4 nights. We’ve been apart before, but not for that length of time, and it’s making me think. When we’ve been apart before, we only had Nicholas and he was already a bit older. Now, with Tobin, it reminds me of how my life was in the year after Mark died and Nicholas and I were alone. I don’t like it. It makes me sad, and makes me remember the desperation I would feel on the weekends. Not because Nicholas was difficult, in fact he was (and is) an amazingly easy kid to be with. But I was scared to be alone with my thoughts. I didn’t want to think about all of the pain Mark went through, I didn’t want to think about the future, I didn’t really want to think at all. Kids have a way of preventing your from vegging out though.

The good thing about William being gone is that it reminds me of how lucky we are. We’ve been together three years. We’re still getting to know each other in so many ways. I know I’m not supposed to compare my husbands, but sometimes I can’t help it. I know that Mark loved me with everything he had. But I also know that he didn’t love himself and I’m coming to really believe that you can’t fully love someone else if you don’t love yourself. I know, I know. It’s a total cliche. But if you don’t love yourself then you don’t think you are with loving. If you don’t think you are worth loving then how can you give yourself over completely to the one who loves you? And William loves me with all he has, and I love him the same way.

I can’t believe how much William and I love each other. I know that is super sappy, but it’s a little bit of a revelation for me. I didn’t expect it and am still a little surprised by it. We’ve built a strong relationship and a strong family. A family that includes Nicholas’ aunts and uncles because William is a strong enough man to accept another man’s family into his own. We’ve made plans for a future together, and we’ve planned for what would happen if one of us doesn’t make it into that future.

In summary, we’re responsible adults who are crazy about each other. It’s a revelation and I love it.

Happy Birthday, William

This week has been a little crazy, and it’s not over yet. But, I couldn’t let the day end without wishing William a happy birthday.

I sometimes forget that William and I have only been together three years. It seems that he’s always been in my heart and my life. I have never been more myself than I am with him. William challenges me without making me angry. William laughs at me and doesn’t let me take myself too seriously. William makes me think and helps me find peace. He’s an incredible father and wants everything for our boys. William is one of the goofiest people I’ve ever met and is also the most stoic. Also? He’s hot.

I am so glad I get to be married to this man, and that we get to raise our children together. Happy Birthday, Babe! I love you!

*photo by Rebel With A Camera, 2008